Part 3: Sangat Becomes Medicine

Ask yourself gently, but clearly: who’s standing beside you, and are they helping you heal or are they helping you hide?

Addiction doesn’t grow in isolation. It grows in environments that make it easy, or even noble, to numb. It grows in friend groups where drinking is the default. In family gatherings where pouring another drink is hospitality. In social media reels that romanticize coping through alcohol. In silence from those who see the signs but say nothing. 

It’s worth asking yourself: what’s my circle feeding me?

Not all support is created equal. 

Some people will hand you a drink when you’ve said that you’re trying to stop, some will tell you that “you’re fine” when you know deep down that you’re not, some will laugh it off when you blackout – even when it scares you, and some will celebrate “keeping it together” when you’re actually falling apart. 

And then there’s some people that’ll sit with your discomfort without numbing it, check-in with you to listen and not to judge, they’ll remind you of who you are beneath the fog, and they’ll encourage you to take the first step towards healing – however small. 

One is comfort and the other is love. One helps you stay the same and the other walks with you toward courage. 

In Sikh Thought…Sangat Shapes The Soul

Put bluntly, our philosophy teaches us that Sangat is medicine or poison. That it shapes our thoughts, our actions, and our destiny. 

If you’re surrounded by people who can’t bear the sober version of you, and who only know how to connect through intoxication, and who call the drowning “a vibe” or your healing “a buzzkill” – ask yourself this: Is this the Sangat my soul came here to keep?

It’s not selfish to protect your recovery. 

It’s not dramatic to say, “I need space from this right now”

It’s not disloyal to outgrow environments that encourage your suffering. 

Arguably the most loving thing you can do for yourself, and ultimately them, is to choose a different path. 

It might start small – declining a drink, leaving a party early, going for a walk instead of out for the night. 

It might mean asking someone new to walk with you. A friend. A therapist. A spiritual mentor. A support group. A Sangat that sees your light even when you forget it.

There’s no shame in needing help. The shame lies in a society that made you feel like you had to do it all by yourself.

Seek those who nurture clarity, not cloud it. Seek the connection that fills you, not empties you. Seek a life that is whole, not just held together. 

A Question To Sit With:

If you changed nothing, and kept living as you are today, where would this road take you? Is that where your spirit is calling you to go?

Sometimes healing begins by looking around and choosing something different. Not because you’re “better”, but because your soul is ready for more. And when you choose courage, even quietly, you give others permission to do the same. 

So Sangat isn’t just about socializing, it’s something sacred. Let’s get brutally honest with ourselves for a minute. How many of us normalize drinking not because we truly enjoy it, but because it’s what everyone is doing? 

• “It’s just how we connect”. Is the argument that’s usually presented, but then the question becomes what kind of connection are we building when alcohol is the bridge?

True company reminds you of your essence. It brings you back to your Mool, your root, your origin. If your current Sangat causes you to forget your truth, to drift further from Naam Simran then it’s not true Sangat. 

And if you’re part of someone else’s circle, start asking yourself – am I helping them wake up or fall deeper asleep? Am I truly Sangat or am I the company that enables suffering. 

From Enabling To Engaged Sangat

Again, in many Punjabi circles, drinking together is seen as bonding. And perhaps for a time, it feels like that. But when the glass becomes a mask and when the laughter turns hollow and when someone in that circle starts slipping into the dark – what does true Sangat do?

True Sangat doesn’t enable. 

True Sangat notices. Speaks. Offers space. Refuses to let a soul sink in silence. 

This is where Seva begins – not just serving at the Gurdwara, but serving presence. Sitting with someone in discomfort. Saying the uncomfortable truth with love. Helping them find a way out. 

Seva is also about creating spaces, both literal and emotional, where substance use isn’t the centre, where healing is welcome, and where quiet courage is met with support. 

Simran Is A Thread Home

Simran can be understood as remembrance. Of Naam. Of the Self. Of what truly matters. 

Alcohol pulls us outward, but numbing, scattering, distracting. Simran gathers us back.

• Back to our breath
• Back to awareness
• Back to a love without intoxication

If Sangat is the soil, then Simran is the seed that allows something else to grow: clarity, contentment, and connection without dependence. 

True Sangat will help you return to your centre, to Simran. It won’t rush your healing, but it will hold space for it. It will say, “you’re not alone.” It will walk with you until your own voice returns. 

The Invitation

If you’re struggling, you don’t need to abandon everyone in your life. But you might need to shift the ground beneath your feet. Find one person whose presence feels like oxygen. One space – a Gurdwara, a support group, or a friend’s living room – where alcohol isn’t required for you to feel alive. 

And if you’re in someone’s Sangat who is struggling, be that space. 

• The Simran in their storm
• The Seva that shows up
• The Sangat that saves

Friends, if you are isolated. The whispers you hear are that you are alone, that you’re broken, and that no one understands. But Sangat, when it’s aligned with something greater, reminds you that you belong. 

• To love
• To truth 
• To a path that leads home

A Sangat walks on a path with you, and if we’re listening to the spirit within us, then we’re all guiding each other home. 

With love,

Gurmukh